I am so tired. I cannot even see clearly, I’m so tired – my vision is actually blurry.
This weekend, it was wonderful to see family, but I believe I did it all at the expense of my own health and sanity. And the fun continues here at home with all the promises and obligations I have between work and home. At the moment, I cannot imagine how I can accomplish all the things I have promised or am expected to accomplish. Even down to the basic things like feeding my kids (although current-me is profoundly thanking past-me for remembering to plan out at least this week’s meals – especially since recent-past-me completely forgot that past-me had done such a thing and was stressing out about it). My current life situations feels like way too much. Overwhelming – that’s the word I’m looking for.
On top of that, I have no one to talk to about it, and no relief in sight – outside of this private blog, I guess.
On that note – it may be that the writing thing I was ridiculously ambitious enough to conceive of below will probably not happen. I do not know what time I was imagining that I would have. Past-me has her failings in being over-ambitious sometimes, I suppose.
Or, I’m just not seeing the forest at the moment because I’m buried under too many trees that have fallen on top of me. I think the biggest thing to do is not anticipate the whole forest burying me alive (which I’m prone to do) and either push off the trees one at a time or dig my way out from underneath everything.
In the meantime, I need to remember my mantra: “Everything will be okay. I will make it all work out somehow.”