I find that since we entered this new year, I’ve felt very introspective. I find myself looking for the peaceful moments and savoring instances in time. I have an urge to journal and write my thoughts (that I’m only now acting on), and I’m spending a lot of time mentally focusing on me and what I really want out of this coming year.
I want to continue to keep in shape.
My husband and I were sick over most of the holiday break. We had two, two-day road trips with kids where we spent half the time concentrating on the road and the other half trying to keep our lungs inside our chests while driving. We’re still both recovering on lovely cocktails of decongestants, cough suppressants and antibiotics. Yay, winter. I feel like I’m on the up-swing of this illness, though, and I find the need welling up to pound this cough out of me on the pavement. I want to hit the ground running and fight back against the germs. My sensible hubby has talked me down to walking until I’m fully recovered.
We’ve signed up for a half-marathon in March. I need to start training up for that. And I want to add more and more strength training into my mix of activities.
I want to read more.
I’ve started a list of “Books to Read” At the moment, there are roughly a dozen of them – mostly sci-fi/fantasy (Allegiant, Dance with Dragons, Hild, various incoming comics). I love reading and I hope to find more time for it in any moment that I can.
I want to practice and learn to play the guitar.
I have this desire to get back into music. I find myself singing in the car more and more often – criticizing my voice and trying to stay on pitch. I have a back-burner ambition of doing karaoke someday or impulsively purchasing a microphone/singing video game (that I would buy and then never find the time to play). I want to find the courage to play instruments in front of my children. I want them to have a solid love and appreciation for music. I need to lead by example to do it, but I have a long, long way to go before I sound even remotely decent on the one practical instrument now in our house.
I want to find the time to tap into my creativity.
I guess this one goes along with the above desire. I want to paint something. I want to draw – even if they’re just silly, stupid doodles. I got a sewing machine for Christmas and am trying to figure out something I might want to create with it. I need to organize my card collection (I’ve saved every greeting card I’ve gotten for holidays and events since I was 10). I want to write a novel of some sort. I want to write more in general – even if it’s just culling my random thoughts.
I want to continue to search for that balance between being a mom, being a wife, and being myself.
The mom thing. I feel the constant pull of being a mom – especially when my kids are around. The other two sides of my life thinned out last year because I was dealing with an infant/baby and a toddler. Now, though, my baby is becoming a toddler and my toddler is becoming a little boy, meaning they collectively need a little less of the constant attention and supervision.
The wife thing. It’s a job that has not been getting the attention it should. We had a good anniversary last year, and we work very well together on the day-to-day stuff, but I want to find more time to connect with my hubby. He’s super-awesome and we get along so fantastically together. I don’t want to get lost in the grind this year as much as I did in 2013. I’m looking forward to an upcoming weekend away that we get later this month when we go to a friend’s wedding. I’m glad we’re making the time for it.
The me thing. I want to go shopping more. I want to see more movies that I want to see. I want to pamper myself more often with massages, pedicures, and bubble baths. I want to start a yoga class (although, realistically, I understand that the chances of this happening are about 2% this year). I want to make the time for myself to do all the things I listed at the front end of this post – the exercising and reading and singing and playing and creating and writing. And I’d really like to figure out a way to do all those things without feeling guilty or selfish.
I won’t call any of the above “resolutions.” They’re more about my hopes and goals for the new year – things to keep in mind as the coming months play out. I’m interested to see how well it goes.